The Hitchiker’s Guide To The Galaxy was an absolute disappointment (1 out of 5). It was boring, failed to draw me in, and left me wanting not only more but anything else. I’ve never read the books, but after seeing this movie, I don’t want to. There were numerous idiocyncracies about this movie that bothered me.

Change Arthur, Change!
The movie started out on a bad foot with me when the main character failed to change out of his pajamas when he got to space. I couldn’t stop thinking about whether he was going to change or not. In fact, once I realized that he wouldn’t be changing into a more comfortable outfit, I kept thinking about all the opportunities he had to change. The lead lady changed from her costume to some nighties to a space outfit, and even had time for a shower and another change of outfit. Perhaps, in this day and age, there’s more incentive to have the lead lady get in the shower, and no incentive to make the hero comfortable in more than his morning robe.

Boring, B-O-Ring
Maybe I was expecting too much when I thought a story about hitchiking through space would be exciting. I was bored the whole way through. The most exciting thing to keep my mind occupied was whether or not the main character would get out of his pajamas. I can’t stand the thought of being yanked from my home in my pajamas. I just can’t function in my pajamas beyond laying around my house. I’d at least need a good pair of sneakers and blue jeans before I would even think about rescuing anyone. Nothing ever happens in this movie. There aren’t any great ancedotes either, beyond “Don’t Panic” which I got from the trailer.

It’s All About The Ending
It was the ending that stuck with me. Usually, that’s the case. A good ending leaves you re-living it all week long. This ending was not good; It wasn’t bad either. In fact, I would be hard press to call it an ending. The movie kinda sputters out and fades away. I was glad it was over. In fact, writing this review was more entertaining than The Hitchhiker’s Guide To the Galaxy.

The most worthwhile part of this movie was finally figuring out what Altavista’s Babelfish was all about. Granted, it wasn’t a bad movie; it was an utter disappointment. If you have high hopes for this movie and you haven’t seen it yet, put it off a little longer. You’ll thank me for it.

After posting my McDonalds review, I thought I would try the flipside, Subway. Subway is everything McDonalds isn’t. It’s the polar opposite of the fast-food spectrum. Mainly, Subway is healthy, and that’s why I’ve been visiting them almost every day.

One Hundred and Fifty-Five Pounds
155 lbs is my target weight, but I rarely stay there. Usually, I slowly drift to 160. Somewhere between 160 and 165, I get on a firm Subway kick. I can’t quote numbers, but I know that Subway is helathy. It’s on their napkins. They offer vegetables and many dishes are under 6 grams of fat. You can even get wraps; if that doesn’t shout healthy, then I don’t know what does. Everytime I start to drift upward in weight, I hit Subway for lunch and drift back down.

Pizza Sub
Growing up, I didn’t like vegetables. I still don’t like them that much. Normally, that would put certain stores off my list of eateries, but Subway offers plenty of options for the meat-eaters like me. I always chose the Pizza Sub (6 inches of white bread with peporoni, tomato sauce, and American cheese, all warmed up). Now, I find a variety of meat-eating options: Turkey Sub, Pizza Sub, Roast Beef Sub, Chicen Bacon Ranch Sub, and plenty more. I tried the Subway Club (Turkey, Ham, and Roast Beef) recently; it was terrific. In addition, to sandwhich choices, they’ve also expanded their bread lines. Now, you get about 3 choices in addition to the usual wheat and white. There’s options in cheese too.

Competition Time
Subway has competition food. When I go to a fencing competition, I get somewhere from one-three feet of subways. I eat them throughout the day. Subway is one of the rare foods that is hearty enough to fill you up but light enough to not get in your way while you compete. Plus, I can buy them early in the morning and eat it throughout the day as I get hungry. They carry along and stow away easily so I don’t have to leave the competition later to get food.

Subway is a healthy alternative for fast-food addicts like myself. They even have a reward program letting you collect stamps for a free sub. Sure, they’re more expensive than McDonalds but look at it as buying extra days on your life. If you have a long, active day ahead of you where you won’t have access to food, try buying a few subs in the morning. You’ll be thankful by the end of the day.

The mere mention of McDonalds will solicit a spectrum of responses depending on who you ask. One thing is certain, McDonalds is a mainstay of American cuisine and fast-food dining alike. I doubt there’s anyone who could imagine the USA without a McDonalds on almost every block. I find McDonalds to be a pleasantly consistent and an always available option when hunger strikes.

It’s McDonalds
From the Big Mac to the Chicken McNugget, McDonalds is familiar. What American kid hasn’t enjoyed a Happy Meal? You can walk into to any franchise in the country and order without looking at the menu. Sure, their regular hamburgers are small and the buns are seedless, but for those picky eaters, they serve them up just right. They have a solid menu consisting of hamburgers, chicken sandwhiches, fish sandwhiches, chicken by itself, and even salads. I’m pretty certain that 95% of Americans could find a meal here that meets their taste.

The Price is Right
My neighborhood McDonalds offers an All American Meal consisting of a small drink, a hamburger, and a small fries all for $2.31 (after tax). I don’t know where else I can eat for that cheap. Plus, it will only take me a matter of minutes to get my food and get out. If I want to spend more, I can, but you won’t ever break your wallet here.

Chicken Flatbread Sandwhich
My McDonalds had a limited time menu addition called the Chicken Flatbread Sandwhich. It was awesome. I loved it. It was made up of sliced grilled chicken in a sauce with tomatoes, lettuce, and grilled onions all wrapped in pita bread. Sure, they don’t have it on their menu any longer, but they won me over when they did serve it.

You can walk in order with a number, pay a cheap price, and be out of there in almost no time. You don’t even have to go in, after all McDonalds’ two and three window drive-throughs have reached new levels of efficiency. The only way I could imagine someone not liking McDonalds is if they didn’t like fast food.

Kung Fu Hustle is an instant kung fu classic (5 out of 5). If you wanted to only watch one kung fu movie in your life, I would call you a fool and list a dozen kung fu movies for you to watch, but Kung Fu Hustle would be on that list. Kung Fu Hustle is a traditional kung fu movie mixing hard hitting martial arts, low-brow humor, and mythical legends. Movies like this keep you entertained the whole way through.

This movie was wierd, but there’s still a lot to like about it. The legendary kung fu moves like the Lion’s Roar, the Toad Style, and the Buddhist Palm really stood out to me. Another great assest of this movie were the costumes. The outfits worn by the Fated Lovers when they first met the #1 killer, The Beast, looked as if they were taken right out of a classic 70′s kung fu fight fest. Of course, the Axe Gang was awesome.

Kung Fu Hustle borrowed heavily from old kung fu movies, but there will be many movies in the future that borrow from it in return. The movie flowed well and was outrageous in parts. So, many moments stuck out, begging to be remembered. If you don’t mind a little violence and language, see this movie. It has a happy ending and is fun all the way through.

Growing up, I hated drinking water. It was the liquid equivalent of homework. The only drink that was worse to me was milk. Years later, bottled water has become one of my favorite drinks, and Dasani is the brand that I drink most often.

It’s In The Bottle
Many people decry the popularity of bottled water. The idea of paying for water when they can pour a glass from the faucet seems wasteful, but they are wrong. It’s not the water that you’re paying for; it’s the packaging and filtering. The last time I poured a glass of water from my tap, I was sadly disappointed. Dasani water is conveniently packaged in various size plastic bottles. The bottles make it easy to store in the refrigerator, carry with you to work, or throw on the ground while you play your favorite sport. Dasani even has several convenient refrigerator packs that stow large quantities of water easily.

Taste Is King
One of the reasons I frequently choose Dasani is the taste. I can hear the protests already, “But you can’t taste water!” That’s the point. Good water is virtually tasteless. Too often, I will purchase a discount or generic brand of water, and I am overwhelmed with the milky taste of minerals and calcium. Try your local tap water and see if you can detect the chlorinated taste of poorly filtered water. Dasani isn’t the best tasting water I’ve ever had, but it’s real good. It has a clean, virtually tasteless texture that goes down easily. There’s nothing worse than a bottle of water that leaves you feeling heavy.

Availability, Availability, Availability and Cost
The most important factors are availability and cost. I can find Dasani in any grocery. It is in most restaurants and even in many fast-food establishments. Frequently, it can even be found in vending machines, and the cost is just right. Sure, it isn’t as cheap as generic brands, but it also is much more affordable than designer brands such as Fiji.

So, the next time you plunk down some change for a sugary soda, take a look and see if Dasani water is available. You’ll be hydrated faster, stay healthier, and be able to better savor the taste of your meal. Better yet, stock your fridge with one of those handy fridge packs.

I’ve never owned anything that has gotten me as much attention as my Honda Element. Tellers at drive-throughs pause to question me about it. Drivers in cars around me crain their head to look, and people in parking lots blatantly stop and look inside. I’ve been a Honda Element owner for almost a year, and I’m ready to spill all of its secrets.

Attention to Detail
There’s three cupholders up front and two in the back. A ledge across the dash will hold just about any gizmo you’ve got. An overhead storage compartment keeps sunglasses within reach. Giant visors block the sun, and huge knobs are present on the air conditioner. Speaking of air conditioning, the Element has more air speeds than I’ve ever seen. No more high, medium, and low. And to top it all off, My EX model has built in MP3 support and a 7 speaker stereo system.

Spacious As A Box
The Element may look small and compact, but as soon as you sit inside you realize this vehicle has a lot of space: head space, foot space, cargo space, any kind of space. The rear seats are slightly raised giving a theater seating effect, and there still is more than enough head room for the tallest passenger. As if the cargo space in the back wasn’t enough, you can fold the rear seats along the sides opening an endless abyss of cargo room. There’s more. If you still don’t have enough room, you can remove the rear seats completely (I’ve heard even the passenger seat). If you still don’t have enough room, I suggest purchasing an 18-wheeler.

Doesn’t Take Dirt
Lacking carpet, the polyurethane flooring is easily cleaned. Whether your tracking in dirt, mud, sand, or snow or you’ve spilled your drink, there’s no need to be overly concerned with cleaning up in this vehicle. The seats are made out of a stain-resistant material that can be wiped down to remove most spills.

I only have two complaints. The large front window is prone to being hit by rocks perhaps its size makes it an easy target. The seats are utilitarian and can be un-comfortable for long drives without a break.

All in all, it’s a great vehicle. It gets good gas mileage. The price tag isn’t steep. Most of all, it’s fun to drive, and great for trips. Personally, if I had the cash, I’d buy another one right now just to have two.

Last night, I went to see Sahara. I had really high hopes for this movie because it stars Matthew McConaughey, an actor that I enjoy watching. And quite honestly, I would say that he did the best he could with the role he was given.

But that’s really not saying much.

This movie just had far, far too many plot holes for me. And frankly, there are only so many times that you can get shot at and not get hit (especially when the bullets hit the wall directly behind you!). But, before I begin whining, let me back up a step and start at the beginning.

Okay…Matthew’s character is larger than life–he is an ex Navy SEAL who currently makes a living by doing underwater excavating (sounds interesting, right?). Well, he and his partner shortly meet up with Penelope Cruz (who is as lovely as ever). You would expect that two such attractive people would have good chemistry–they don’t. I found myself not caring about their relationship at all. They seemed more like good buddies than romantic partners. But anyway….

They begin traveling around Africa looking for a ship and a plague (don’t worry, I won’t give away very many details). Supposedly, the ship they are looking for is the last Confederate Ironclad. However, no one in the movie bothers to completely explain why on earth an Ironclad would journey across the Atlantic to Africa. That’s just one of those plot details that is left hanging. (Trust me, there are a few of these!)

Half-way through the movie, I realized the flick was nothing but one big action scene after another. So, if you are into slam–bam shots, you will enjoy this. (I DEFINITELY think this is a movie that pre-teen boys would enjoy). I, however, was looking for a bit more.

So, in terms of rating, I would give this movie 2 out of 5 stars. And the two was just for Matthew because I don’t want to give up on the actor that I enjoyed so much in Dazed and Confused, Reign of Fire, and Frailty.

I switched to FireFox almost six months ago; I haven’t thought once about going back to Internet Explorer.

Simply put, FireFox is the better web experience. It’s faster, more secure, and renders most web pages more accurately. If you’ve ever had your machine bogged down by spyware and viruses, you will definitely appreciate FireFox. It’s feature rich with tabbed browsing (surf multiple pages quickly in one window), a built-in pop-up blocker, Live Bookmarks (RSS support), and an endless supply of grass-root extentions (add-ons that will do just about whatever you want).

FireFox is better than IE in 1,000 small ways too. If you’re a power-user, it has better options for Viewing Source or turning off a page’s style. If you’re a novice, it quickly and easily shows you when you’re on a secure page by highlighting the address in yellow. For me, it let’s me surf, opening and closing tabs just by using my mouse’s center scroll wheel. I click the center scroll wheel on a link and that page opens in a new tab; I click it on a tab and it closes. It couldn’t be any easier or quicker.

As if you had a reason not to try FireFox, it’s FREE (and quite a small, efficient download). That’s right, the promise of the Internet delivers again, free stuff; so, give it a try.

This review is as late as late can come, but GoldenEye is my all time favorite videogame, so it desrves a review.

I bought GoldenEye originally on a whim. I had heard that it got excellent reviews, but I hadn’t seen nor played it. As soon as I turned on the game, I was instantly disappointed. Determined not to let my purchase be a waste, I played on for a while. Years later, I have so many fond memories of this game; I can only attribute my initial disappointment to how different this game really was.

Sneak Don’t Shoot
Goldeneye broke all the classic videogame rules. While you could run around like a maniac shooting everything in sight, to really play the game and be successful, you had to sneak through it in traditional spy style. The A.I. at the time was incredible with enemies acting like they never had before. So, many moments stand out from this game that it’s impossible to single out just one.

Level Design
The levels in Goldeneye really stand out. People refer to them by name. For Goldeneye, the game makers modeled the levels after the sets used in the classic James Bond movie. If you watch the movie after playing the game, you feel like you’ve been to these locales. On top of that, they varied the styles of the level perfectly. One level, you’re outside; the next, you’re inside. One is in a Cuban forest, another is in the streets of Moscow.

Replay Value
I played through Goldeneye the first time on the easiest setting, Agent. The second time through I played on the hardest, 00 Agent. The difference was remarkable. Not only was Goldeneye incredibly challenging on 00 Agent, but it also was almost a whole new game with added mission objectives. Completing Goldeneye on 00 Agent remains one of my biggest videogame feats; I’m still bragging about it today

Multiplayer
On top of a near perfect game, Goldeneye had one of the best multiplayer modes ever made. The mulitplayer levels were ideal as were the various weapon sets and objectives. I’ll never forget the many hours spent going through my pals. Since I had beaten the game in 00 Agent mode, I was nearly undefeateble in multiplayer. If this game were made today, the single player and multiplayer modes would be sold seperately, and that’s the difference between a classic and a good game with a fading memory.

If you’ve never played Goldeneye, you’ve missed an icon of videogame history. Maybe if you’re lucky, you can pick a copy up at a used game store, but if everyone else who bought this game is like me, they wouldn’t let go of their copy for double the original price.

Yesterday, I wrote a late review on Resident Evil 4. I thought it was successful, so I will try another one. This time I’m reviewing Gmail way past any chance of a scoop story.

If you’re unfamiliar with Gmail, read Google’s description.

Gmail has changed email for me. It is no longer something I use when I have to but has become an enjoyable primary form of communication for me. Not only did Gmail replace my ISP account as my primary email provider, but I also found myself forwarding other email addresses to my Gmail account. The reason was simple. With Gmail I can organize, find, read, and USE my emails like never before.

Never Delete
Gmail brings a new philosophy to email. Never delete it, always keep it. It’s really more than just having the space to keep it; they give you 2 gigabytes now (originally just 1 gig). It’s having access to all of your personal communications anywhere you have web access. It means being able to vaguely recall the content of an email and easily, quickly finding it with a simple search.

Conversations
Email used to consist of short hardly coherent messages. I still get those sometimes from non-Gmail users, but for me, Gmail has made email into conversations. As any fencer would know, a conversation is more than just a single communication. It’s a series of communications that involve each other and respond to each other. Basically, Gmail displays emails in a threaded unit much like you see in forums. It’s a HUGE difference.

Archiving
One of the most profound concepts that Gmail introduces is archiving. When you’re done reading an email you press the archive button and it’s gone from your inbox. But where does it go? No where, that’s the beauty! You don’t have to file it, you don’t have to decide where it should go, you just press the button and it’s gone. Out of site, out of mind. Of course, the skeptics are probably thinking, what if you need it again. Remember you can find anything just by using the search.

Of course, there are a ton of other features, but why not just give it a try instead. If you need an invite (You have to be invited to use it), send me an email.

Sure this review is a little late, but since RE 4 is in my top 3 games ever, I thought it deserved a review.

I’m not going to explain what RE4 is about. Read about it if you don’t already know . I’m just going to tell you like it is.

Resident Evil 4 is terrific. It and GoldenEye are the only games I have ever immediately played through a second time after beating it the first time. The controls were smooth and precise, although I missed being able to strafe. The graphics were creepy as hell, and the enemies were even creepier. RE4 was the first game that he me dreading just seeing what I would be up against. The scope of the game is enormous. I wasn’t left wanting more when I beat it. Instead, I was left wanting to play it again. It was the kind of feeling I got after watching Pirates of The Caribbean.

RE4 is a fun game. From shooting zombies to upgrading weapons, this game gave the player plenty of incentive to keep playing. Attention to detail was incredible. You could target enemy heads or legs. Some weapons would shoot through numerous zombies, and some zombies were armed! When you face a zombie with a chainsaw and live, there’s a certain feeling of appreciation for life. That appreciation is the same feeling you get when you beat this game.

However, it was the extras that made RE4 more than just a good game. After beating the game once, you unlock several modes. You get an arcade style, timed zombie shooting run (perfect for demonstrating to friends). You get a second mission with a different character. Finally, you get to play the game through a second time with all the items you collected the first time through.

Sure, playing through a second time with an automatic shotgun, sinper rifles, uzi, and a colt python makes it sound easy, but it’s not. It’s just as fun and difficult the second time around as it was the first. Even with all the added arsenal, you’re still walking around the next corner just as gingerly.

If you haven’t played RE4 yet and you like a good video game, go buy a GameCube and play it today. Besides, when you get done with RE4, you can look forward to the next Zelda.

WTF? This movie was not anything like I expected; I should have expected that. First, if you have any aversion to violence at all, don’t go see this movie. It is perhaps one of the most violent movies I have ever seen, yet it does so in very creative ways. There was gratuitious nudity too, which seems to be a change from the norm. Movies don’t contain much nudity anymore.

Sin City is a fast-paced, narrated tale that kept me on the end of my seat never knowing what to expect next. It kept true to the look and feel of a comic book. It even left you in the dark on parts, just like any comic reader has felt picking up a story with years of back history that is a mystery to the un-initiated.

Sin City is full of cliches too. It begins with the detective cop on his last day of work, and the cliches keep going. They don’t feel wrong or out of place though. Rather, they’re the only things that help you identify with what’s going on.

The characters left the strongest impression on me. It seems like every character was from classic literature but just couldn’t quite place where I had seen them before. Plus, I can remember their names, something I rarely am able to do. And their faces are anything but forgetful.

The whole time I was left wondering whether I hated this film or loved it. In the end, I have to say it was a little of both. This movie is an instant Classic (5 out of 5) that will be quoted time and again. While it wasn’t what I expected (or wanted), it did what it was trying to do flawlessly.

I saw Cursed Friday night. I was surprised and would call it Good (4 out of 5), mainly because I had zero expectations.

It had some classic 80′s movie-style moments (almost Lost Boys -esque but not quite as good). I thought Jimmy was a good change back to normal style teen-aged hero’s. You know, the kind where there’s nothing special about them. It wasn’t scary at all, but it was fun. The main thing that kept it from being a Cable Movie was that I had little expectations for it, and it didn’t set it self up too high. It wasn’t about destroying the one ring to save the world; it was just an entertaininig movie that didn’t try to be more than that.

I saw Be Cool last night. I’d call it a Cable Movie (3 out of 5).

From the Uma and Tavolta pair up to Cedric’s russian-killing monologue, so many parts of this movie were a blatant rip-off of Pulp Fiction that just didn’t work that well.

It had its good parts though, the Rock was pretty funny making fun of himself (probably the best part of the movie). It takes a good sense of humor to laugh at yourself like that. Cedric the Entertainer was okay, as was Vince Vaughn. The biggest disappointment was Travolta. His character seemed to only exist to glue together parts of the plot, not a good thing for the main character.