Don’t really want that neon-framed picture of the Budweiser thoroughbreds you won on Ebay, but don’t want to risk negative feedback by not paying for it? Then try this tip.

Before you reply to the seller’s email congratulating your win and giving you payment instructions, go to altavista’s babelfish translator, type in a horribly incomprehensible sentence in English, and convert it to the foreign language of your choice. For example:

“Who you me want to pay not me you pay yourself not why ask me this you” translated to French becomes: “Qui vous je voulez pour me vous payer pas salaire vous-même pas pourquoi demandez-moi ceci vous”

Now send this to the seller. He will be completely bewildered, and if he does happen to know the language or if he knows how to translate it, it still cannot be deciphered. If he keeps replying, just have fun with him and keep coming up with more nonsense phrases. He’ll eventually get bored, and you’ll be off the hook.

I’ve performed this trick several times, and it has never failed. Best of luck, and stay tuned for the next Ebay Tip!