Some of you may have noticed that I haven’t given this website much TLC. Most of you probably didn’t though because I doubt anyone would visit in its current state of disrepair. There’s only two ways to change things: lots of time and effort or a quick and dirty redesign. Guess which option I chose?

Redesign finished, and to celebrate, I’m going to review the very site I just finished working on (that’s this site.)

Big Text, Little Design

Finally, a website that places content first and design second. Look at those big titles, that easily readable body text, and don’t even get me started on that tiny page header. A design like this is exactly what I’ve been telling everyone to go with … only to be ignored and shot down … over and over again. Looks like, I am my own best client. I didn’t have a single argument with myself when I designed this website. Now, that’s effective communication

Favorites

My favorite new feature would have to be my favorites — uh oh, that might be redundant. Anyway, I added a category called favorites where I can put my favorite posts (I’m not sure how I figure that out.) And because I love those posts so much, the two most recent show up at the top of the home page.

Remainders

I also added a remainder category. I used to love posting tiny little links, but I would hate how they would take up so much room with a title and all that. Now, if I place these posts in the remainder category, they get condensed. I didn’t come up with the idea though, I just borrowed it.

Reviews

I love writing reviews, not so much because I think anyone cares what I have to say. No, I like writing reviews because I like to figure out what I think about something — anything. That’s why I love reviewing simple ever day items like water. So, to help inspire my passion for reviews, I created a Review category.

Verdict: Bleak

While I’m pretty happy with the redesign, the future of this website rests upon the ability to get great content (instead of the stale crap on it now), and that relies on me. I can feel that pressure already. Maybe I should sell the site (I’d probably trade it for an iPhone.)

No, I haven’t become a home improvement expert, but I did stay up until 6am finally getting Danny Lipford’s site live (Danny Lipford: DIY Home Improvement Expert).

Verdict? Eh, it was way to hard too get this site finished, but in the end, it has a lot of really cool stuff on it. They hired an outside designer to do some of the design work (so, if you don’t like something, there’s a chance I didn’t do it).

Here’s a handy WordPress function I put together today. It tells you if the current page is a child of another page. I’m using it to show a sub-navigation on a page and its children.

function is_child ($parent) {
global $wp_query;
if ($wp_query->post->post_parent == $parent) {
$return = true;
}
else {
$return = false;
}
return $return;
}

My wife asked me tonight, “Does spam ever really work?” I was prepared to launch into a speech detailing that, “although it’s a statistically small amount, large numbers of spam are made to compensate,” when it hit me.

The problem with spam is that the less effective we make it, the more spammers have to send out.

Huh? Well, if spammers have a success rate of 2% and they send out 100 million emails with each successful email making $1, then they make $2,000,000. Now, let’s say someone comes along with a spam filter that lowers their success rate to 1% … suddenly 100 million emails only makes them half what it used to, and they have to send out an extra 100 million emails. And no matter how hard we try, they’re never going to have a 0% success rate.

The Solution?
Simple. Convince everyone you know to fall for the spammers scheme. The more people who fall for it, the higher their success rate goes. The higher the success rate … the less spam they have to send out.

You may wonder if they won’t simply send more spam out to make even more money. I’m willing to bet they won’t. The one thing you can trust about a spammer is that they want easy money. So, if you make their job easier, they aren’t going to work harder.

Want to prevent spam? Maybe you should consider buying some weight-loss pills. I’m sure you’ve already received an offer.

There’s been plenty of talk about some great, global, online conversation, but I want to outline how to engage in that conversation once you realize it’s there.

What is this Conversation?
In simple terms, it’s any conversation anywhere (whether it’s online or not). Think of it like the Force from Star Wars. It surrounds every living being and is controlled by them and controls them at the same time … or something like that. It’s a website, comments on that website, emails, IM’s, phone calls, radio talks shows, television programs, two people talking to each other, and just about anything else you can think about (yes, even music). Obviously, if you can inject what you’re saying into all that … well, something would happen.

Step 1: Start Your Own Conversation
Grab a website. Start putting coherent text and content on it. Even better yet, let others leave comments. It can be as simple as “Hi, I’m Nicholas. I like kitchens,” or as structured as “We’re Xyz, an online publication that discusses all aspects of Kitchens.” Don’t stress too much on details, because there’s really only two import aspects: 1) you’re clearly understood and 2) you have a permanent location that you can reference in future conversations.

Step 2: Identify Similar Conversations
There’s tons of conversations out there, but don’t just run to the loudest one in the room. (It’s probably about Anna Nicole Smith anyway.) Instead, identify conversations that are similar to yours. They fall into some categories (which I will describe as lines):

a) parallel conversations - Parallel conversations are the people out there talking about the same stuff as you. If you’re kitchen-xyz.com, they’re kitchen-abc.com. Traditionally, they would probably be considered your competition. They’re not, and you should be listening to what they’re saying.

b) intersecting conversations - Intersecting conversations aren’t necessarily talking about the same things as you, but they do touch your topic in some way. In our kitchen example, they would be talking about bathrooms (or appliances, or … you get the picture).

c) vertical conversations - Larger conversations that encompass your conversation. They are the big boys. In our kitchen example, they would be talking about the whole house (or it could be a general interest conversation at the local beauty parlor).

Step 2: Listen
Shhh… That sound, it’s not silence. It the roaring, thriving global conversation, and you can’t just jump in. You have to listen first. In fact, the longer you listen to a conversation the better you will be able to engage it. So, now that you’ve found similar conversations, don’t bombard them … instead listen to them.

Step 3: Start Off Small
Now that you’ve been listening to this conversation (and you know what it’s about), you may feel like you’re the speaker’s best friend. You’re not. In fact, the person doesn’t even know you. So, begin engaging the conversation appropriately. Start with any small entry points you can find. On websites, it’s usually comments.

Step 4: Start a Cycle
Hey, you just took your first step into the conversation. Now, go back to listening. It’s some kind of recursive, circular monster.

Step 5: Let it Grow
It’s not good enough to go around in circles. You have to grow the conversation and let it spiral out of control (until you end up on CNN and madly famous). Last time, you left a comment, this time expand your comment to an article on your website. Then email it back to the site you just commented on. Hit the parallel conversations first, then the intersecting, and then the vertical. Growing the conversation the whole time.

That’s it. Hopefully, when your conversation grows so big that’s on the front page of the New York Times, you’ll throw this conversation a bone.

For some reason, I never posted this. I got this tattoo shortly after my son Jackson was born. So, I probably have had it for about a year. The pic is pretty bad because 1) I took it one-handed, and 2) it was my left hand.

The tattoo is located on my right forearm.

Blake asks, “Who cares about the Vista launch?“

Here’s my impression of every single Microsoft operating system launch I’ve ever seen:

Step 1: Release new OS that has a bunch of features no one was asking for but look mildly impressive.
Step 2: Break anything that worked well in the last OS
Step 3: Wait and watch as everyone avoids it like the plague.
Step 4: Panic!
Step 5: Realize that the company is about to go under.
Step 6: Release SP2.
Step 7: Realize that somewhere along the way you got a product that’s not bad.
Step 8: Force it down the throat of everyone who’s buying a new computer.

Yea, I pretty much only get a new version of Windows when it comes pre-installed on a new computer, which is probably the same for 90% of everyone else. So… Vista’s launch is only a big deal if you’re in the market for a new PC.

1) Re-do this site (yuck!)
2) Get a haircut, a shave, and take at least one shower
3) Launch my work site
4) Beat all the games that I got for Christmas (this will take all year)
5) Work-out schedule
6) Scrap work-out schedule, then start it again
7) Tie up loose ends (I’m not exactly sure what that means)

When I first read the headline, Rare Video of Dying Frilled Shark, I told myself I preferred discovery specials on lonely days where my pajamas smell as bad as I do. Later, I was forced to watch the video … all I can say is “I’m never going in 2,000 feet deep water if this is what’s living down there!”

It’s been described as a modern day dinosaur, but I say crazy monster of the deep is more accurate. After watching the video, contemplate how many of your trips to the beach were really just close encounters with being that thing’s last meal.

Because it would be boring just to recite the things I asked for Christmas, here’s the top ten things that I didn’t ask for, won’t get, but secretly desire this Christmas:

1) HDTV (yea, I have a specific one picked out in my heart of hearts)
2) White water rafting / skiing trip
3) Water front property
4) Motorboat to go with the water front property
5) Sailboat for when I’m tired of the motorboat
6) Fancy mobile phone
7) TV Tuner card for my Windows Media Center (this one isn’t even unreasonable)
10 minutes of complete, utter, deafening silence (I’m talking not even background noise; the kind of silence that will upset you)
9) A good shave (I’m too lazy to shave my beard myself, but just maybe I’ll do it)
10) Goodwill and peace on earth for all of mankind (if I get everything I asked for this year, I might ask for this next year)

Instead, I’m going to have an eat your heart out, 12-year-olds dream Christmas full of video games.

What do you secretly want for Christmas?

I wish I could become a t-shirt collector. But in the mean time, I’ll spend my time looking at t-shirts available online.

Here’s seven new designs available at Tees My Body:

• and the Pickles T-Shirt
• Fun Size T-Shirt
• Cobra Commander T-Shirt
• Samurai Baka T-Shirt
• Congratulations Idiot T-Shirt
• Fight Milk Expiration T-Shirt
• How Much? T-Shirt

Forget IE 7. FireFox 2 was just released and it rocks … big time. I’d go into detail, but it wouldn’t do it justice. I predict IE 7.5 in less than a year.

Now go download FF2!